Please tell my mom I'm too old for this.
(I only agreed to do it one more time,
because she said it was all she wanted for Christmas.)
P.S. You can still bring me that guitar I asked for though.
I have been a very good girl this year.
(So good, my friends are starting to worry about me!)
I did a little Volunteer Service.
(Notice I said "Volunteer Service."
Not, "Community Service." BIG difference!)
I didn't sluff off.
(I put in 50-55 hours a week with the kiddos, and many weekends
making many women happy with my purses! Hmmmm....that might
have something to do with why I've been so good....)
I said my prayers every night.
(I tried to say "Heaven help me."
More than I said, "Heaven help me!")
And I tried to be kind to everyone.
(Even the 1,402 annoying people that seem to constantly cross my path!)
So Santa, all I want for Christmas this year is just one
little itty bitty piece of pink paper with six little winning lottery numbers on it.
P.S. Tell Mrs. Claus to call me
and I'll hook her up with a great purse!
Please bring my wife a winning lottery ticket.
(So I can retire!)
P.S. I apologize for all the pictures the other night.
I have this crazy wife you see, who makes us
do all these crazy things, all the time...
Suck it up. Ya ain't gettin' no winnin' ticket.
(If I knew those numbers, the wife and I'd ditch this friggin' job!)
P.S. Leave those tasty frosted sugar cookies
like you did last year, and I'll see if I can't rustle
up a couple o' scratch tickets for ya.
Ho! Ho! Ho!