Tuesday, November 30, 2010

All You Can Eat Buffet

Lucky is telling me "something" is out there.

I've been asking Tim all week to put the pumpkins
and gourds that are in the front of the house in the dumpster.
(They are frozen solid and stuck to the ground!)
This morning, Lucky told me to look out the window.
Here this little fella was going to town!
We watched him fill his cheeks and run to his tree house
several times. I am sure he feels like he hit the jackpot!
His tummy will be nice and full all winter.
I hope he has a little family in that tree to share it with.
Now I don't have the heart to toss the pumpkins.
Dang it.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Oh, Deer.

As you can see from the previous post, we hit a deer. Here's the story...
Since I am no longer doing home purse parties, I try to attend at least one or two "Events" (Festivals, Craft fairs, Expo's, etc..) a month with my purses. Normally when we do an event, we go the night before and stay in a hotel. Sometimes we bring Landon and go swimming and make it a fun family weekend. However, last weekend we just decided to get up early and go the same day. So, Landon spent the night at his grandparent's and Tim and I were on the road at 6:00 A.M.! I am a GREAT backseat driver. I let out no more than 1,235 "GASPS!" "SLOW DOWN!" and  "WATCH IT!" during every road trip. I have worn out the carpet in all of our vehicles on the passenger side from stomping on my imaginary brake. I admit it. I am not a joy to ride with. (Kinda ironic considering how I used to "tear up the roads" in my younger days!) Anyway, we were about a mile from Alex (in my purse van) when a car was approaching from the other direction. Tim dimmed his lights and 2 seconds later this HUGE deer head popped up in front of the van! It went THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! The deer went flying into the ditch and the van started squealing and smoking!!! Tore off the whole front end of the van. I had covered my face with my hands, as I thought for sure that deer was going to come flying through the window. Thank goodness it did not. Now here is the crazy part. After we hit the deer, I felt calm. (Tim, not so much.) I can't explain it. Even when the van was smoking and the radiator was pouring out water and squealing, I felt calm. (But, not calm enough to try and find the deer to take a picture. Sorry.) Guess it's the little things that make me nervous, while the big things are a piece of cake! Go figure. We drove to the truck stop about a mile up the road and called my dad who brought us our enclosed trailer, and we headed back out to our event in his truck. Now that would have made a great picture! Tim, my dad and I, all tucked in his little tiny truck! Breathing room only. The event was a great show and I am so thankful for that.
Even with the dead deer and totaled van.
I'll take my blessings however they come.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

%$@#! Deer!

Apparently the hunter's missed one.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Turkey Day!

Here it is.
The PERFECT picture,
for the perfect
Christmas Card!
After only 1,209 more attempts with the exact same results,
we were as frozen solid as our butterball turkey!
We finally gave up and went in the house to take an indoor picture.
There's a fine line between a gentle breeze and a wind so strong
it feels like it's gonna rip your hair out by the roots! We had a root ripper today.
I have to admit when I was ordering my cards, 
 it was very tempting not to use this picture anyway.
I was even going to write on the card, "Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!"
But, I was afraid not very many would get my sense of humor.
 I used the BORING indoor one.
Oh well, there's always next year...
(Click on the picture to "feel" the full effect!)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I Love Peanut Butter!

My favorite candy bar in the whole wide world is a "FRESH" Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. To get a fresh one, you can't just buy any ol' bar off the shelf. You have to do "the thumb test" to it first. Gently press your thumb (Do not open the candy bar. Do this through the wrapper.) into the center of the cup, and if it presses through a bit leaving a little indention, then it's fresh. If it doesn't move, then drop it and run! It will be hard and dry and no good. Totally not worth the $2,889,000 they charge these days for a figgin' candy bar. Anyway, since it's getting close to the holidays, I thought I would share with you my favorite peanut butter bar recipe. I swear these taste just like a Reese's Cup, but you have to use quality ingredients! If you buy the ol' generic brand ingredients, it's gonna taste like an ol' hard and dry candy bar. You get what you pay for here.

No Oven Peanut Butter Squares

1 Stick of REAL Salted Butter
2 Cups Powder Sugar
1 1/2 Cups NABISCO Graham Cracker Crumbs
1 Cup of SKIPPY or PETER PAN Peanut Butter

2 Melted Giant Size HERSHEY'S Chocolate Candy Bars

LINE a 13x9-inch baking pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides of pan.

MELT Butter in large microwavable bowl on HIGH until melted. Stir in sugar, crumbs and peanut butter. Mix well. (I use a hand mixer) Spread mixture into prepared pan. (I use my CLEAN WASHED hands for this. Spray a little Pam on them to help with the stickiness.)

MELT Chocolate bars in microwavable bowl on high until smooth, stirring after one minute or so. Cool Chocolate slightly, then pour over Peanut Butter mixture in pan. Cool. Cut partially through mixture to mark
squares. Refrigerate 1 hour or until set. Lift from pan, using foil handles. Cut all the way through mixture into squares.


Monday, November 22, 2010

I Love My Job!

Yesterday as I stepped outside onto the back deck, I didn't realize that there was a thin layer of ice covering the deck. As my foot made contact with the deck, the ice sent me straight down into a perfectly painful split! (I haven't done that since high school!) I wasn't hurt. Just stretched a few muscles that I haven't used in a loooong time. So, today I am very, very thankful for my job. I not only have a job that I love, but it also allows me to work from the comforts of INSIDE my home! In the summer, I am thankful that I can work OUTSIDE (In the back yard.) of my home, in the warm sunshine. I love my job!  I have been so blessed with a great group of little kiddos. They make me laugh all the time, and make my job so much fun!  I sure do appreciate each and every one of them. Allow me to share with you, a few tibits that are spoken pretty much on a daily basis around here. Welcome to a little piece of our world here at Desiree's Day Care!

Lifting her halloween mask, (They get to play with them year 'round.) "It's just me, Desiree." (I love that she is trying to comfort me in case I am scared.)

"I gotta poop. Can you wipe me?" (I know. Ewww...but it is said in such a sweet little voice, it's hard not to smile.)

"Can we go outside?" (This is said 4,677 times a day. Even when it is pouring down rain or whipping freezing cold snow.)

"Daddy's coming!" (This is said 3,433 times a day, from the same little girl whose dad picks her up at the end of the day. After saying it for the 3,432nd time, the kids start telling her "We knooooow!!!)

"Can we have pizza for dinner?" (This is said 2,988 times a day, even as the plates are being set down in front of them and it's not pizza.)

"You're a great cook!"  (This compliment is usually reserved for only the days that we have pizza or a sweet sugary snack!)

"If you don't help clean up, you have to starve!" (Not really. I tell the kids that we can't have dinner until all the toys are picked up.)

"I smell poopy pants!" (A lot of times, there isn't really any poopy pants at all. It is just an an excuse used by the kid who just passed a little gas.)

I'm not gonna sleep. I'm just gonna rest my face." (This child usually falls asleep within minutes of laying her head on her pillow.)

"More ketchup, please." (This is a must have, no matter what is for dinner. I think the ketchup companies should give me a little free stock, considering how much of their ketchup I buy!)

"Take my picture!" (I try to take 6,788 pictures of the kids each day and email them to the parents. The girls love being the "star" of the picture. The boys, not so much.)

"OOOO.KKKK. Deeeessssiiirrreeeee...." (This is said 2,616 times with a sweet little smile after being told 2,616 times not to step on the toys or put them in their mouth.)

"I like it here!" (This one melts my heart every time and calls for an immediate hug!)

I like it here too. (((hugs)))

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

What's For Supper?

I don't like to cook. It's kinda nuts, considering I love to watch cooking shows and I am the owner of 1,016 cookbooks. If I didn't have Landon, I would be quite content to have frozen cheese pizza for supper every night of the week. Tim would not. Nor would Landon. So, I cook. Since I started my diet, my new goal is to have supper together at the table at least three nights (as opposed to five) a week. On those nights, I try to prepare meals that I can also eat along with Tim and Landon. The other nights, I let Tim and Landon eat the meal I've prepared for them, in the T.V. room, on the couch, in front of the T.V. I sometimes join them with my own supper, but for the most part, I like to be by myself at the table or in the living room. I know it isn't how we're "suppose" to do things and it's probably not a "healthy" way to raise Landon, but it works for us. (I apologize to Landon's future wife and children for any damage this may someday cause.) So, that's the way we do it. On their T.V. nights, I probably make four or five trips from the kitchen to the T.V. room while "serving" them their supper. Salt, pepper, ketchup, napkins, milk, blah, blah, blah... I don't like this either, but for the most part I suck it up and just do it. Oh, I admit I throw out a few sarcastic "Oh Thank you Mom/Honey! Your the best Mom/Honey in the whole world!" to let them know how I really feel about the whole situation. They get the point and respond like good little robots, while their eyes never leave the T.V. screen. But, every now and then I get really fed up. On those nights, when Tim comes home and asks "What's for supper?" I look him in the eye and say slowly and quietly, "Whatever you're making us." Tonight was one of those nights. Usually, when Tim cooks we eat at the table and I help put it all on the table. Not tonight. Tonight I decided Landon and I were going to eat in the T.V. room. Tim made eggs, little smokies and toast. He knows how I eat my eggs and prepared them scrambled with cheese for me. But, whatever possessed him to give Landon a soft fried egg, I'll never know. I have never, ever given Landon an egg prepared that way. I know him. He would hate it. Tim came into the room with the plate, set it down on the T.V. tray and told Landon to break open the egg so the yolk would run out and dip his toast in it. I held my breath. Landon stuck his finger in the middle of the egg, the yolk ran out and went under his toast and smokies. Landon said,
"That's just sick." Oh man, that hit my funny bone so hard, I almost choked on my eggs! Tim got all huffy and took the plate and went back into the kitchen to make up another plate for Landon. While he was cooking and I was trying really hard to stop laughing, Landon called out to Tim, "Dad! Bring me a glass of milk!" He did. Then Landon called out, "Dad! Bring me a napkin! I spilled my milk!" He did. But, he wasn't so pleasant about it. He was fuming and annoyed. Guess he didn't like making all those trips. Watching him huff and puff and stomp off all frazzled, only made me laugh all the harder. I really tried hard to stop laughing and was good until he would yell out, "Knock it off! It's not funny!" (Why does he do that? He knows it only makes it worse!) Now, when I make eggs, I take out the blender and whip them with a little milk and garlic salt. Then I add shredded cheddar cheese at the last minute to melt all gooey and warm on top. They are the lightest, fluffiest, yummiest eggs ever. But, that takes a little effort. Tim didn't make that effort, and as a result, his eggs were flat, hard, bland and glued together with cheese. Neither Landon or I finished them. So, when Tim said to me  "Is there a reason, you couldn't eat all your eggs?" I gave him no words of reassurance.
Instead I said, "Oh dear, are you feeling a little under appreciated?"
He's still mad at me. But, don't worry. He'll get over it.
When he gets his nice, hot plate of supper, served by his nice, hot wife... tomorrow! ;)

Put The Comma, Where?

I have a comma problem. Not a common problem. A comma problem. I was watching the show "Lie To Me" the other night, (The one where "Dr. Lightman" can read people's facial expressions and know if they are telling the truth or not. Love it!) and on the show, Dr. Lightman has been trying to write a book. He has a semicolon problem. He likes them, over uses them and puts them in places they shouldn't be. I have a comma problem. I tend to write run on sentences and then I need to insert commas, but I am not always sure where they should go. So, I put them everywhere. If you look back at the last sentence, I am not sure if the comma should have gone after the word "commas," or after the word," but." I am not even sure if that last sentence was correctly comma'ed. (Is that even a word?) I need to refresh my English class skills. I suppose I could look it up on line and figure it out, but I don't want to. So, as you are reading my posts, I apologize for all the comma mistakes. When I hit the lottery, I'll have my editor take care of it.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Magical White Stuff

When I looked out our back door this morning, there was some white stuff covering the deck. Looked like snow. Felt like snow. Yep, it's snow. It's here. Funny how as I get older, my feelings toward the white stuff has changed. I remember many "first snowfalls" of the year as a good ol' Minnesota kid. Usually it was during class at school. Someone would happen to look out the window and scream, "It's snowing!!!' Then all the kids would jump up out of their seats and rush to the windows to oooh and ahhhh. It was such a magical moment. I never paid attention to the teacher's reactions back then, but I am now pretty sure they were probably muttering a few non-magical words under their breath! Now, don't get me wrong, sometimes snow is good. I love to play in the snow with Landon. Snow angels, snowmen, sledding down the hills, all the fun magical stuff. It's just that as an adult, I know with the snow comes the freezing cold temps., and the wind, and the ice, and the blizzards. I don't like to drive in it. I don't like to ride in it. I don't like it in my shoes. I don't like it in my car. I don't like it in my house. I don't like green eggs and ham... (Oops got off track here!) So, why do I live here? Because even if I get cold, wet, or frostbite,
I don't want to miss even one magical moment.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Trivia For Dummies

A long time ago, I bought the game Trivia For Dummies. We also have the regular trivia game, which I hate. I hate it because I don't know any of the answers. I do have a little college under my belt, but that was many years ago and I've forgotten most of it. However, I have been around the block a few times and I am very "life smart." I thought this would be a good game for me and some of my other "life smart" friends, but we never got around to playing it. Life was just too busy I guess. I never opened the game until this afternoon. I was sitting at the computer for 3,002 hours trying to find a pair of flip flops to take to Florida. Apparently all the stores here in Minnesota think it's winter and there isn't a pair to be found! I wasn't having much luck on line either. (I did eventually find a pair.) My back and neck were cramping, so when I streched my arms and neck upwards, I happened to look up at the shelf above my computer. There is where we keep our 1,233,999 games. I spotted the Trivia game and decided to take a look at it. At first the questions seemed a little insulting to anyone's intelligence. For example: Q: How many chocolate wafers are in an Oreo? A: Two. See? Isn't that a little too easy? Then as I was flipping through them, I realized that this could be a really fun game! Imagine the response if you got the Oreo Cookie question wrong! I'll give you a few more.... Q: TV's Arnold the Pig inhabits ____Acres.  Q: True or False? On a clear night you can see Uranus without a telescope. (Come on! That one's funny without the answer!!) The answers are: Green Acres and you cannot see Uranus without a telescope. (Doesn't matter what the weather.) Some were a little harder to me, but maybe to someone else it would be easy. For example: Q: What is the most popular color used in professional Jell-O wrestling? (I didn't even know there was professional Jello-O wrestling!) A: Green (Or Lime) Then there was one that really grossed me out. I didn't know the answer and wasn't sure I wanted to either. Q: True or False? Parchment paper is made from animal skin. TRUE!!! Oh, man. That's just not right! So, there you go. You learned something new today, or maybe not. It might not have been a "life smart" lesson, but you've got to admit it was at least more interesting than trigonometry!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I See London...

This post is pretty much a girl post. I don't think the guys will get this one. So if you are a guy, you are now entering the mysterious wonderful world of girlhood! Be prepared to be bored, puzzled or at least humored. I got some new underwear. Yep. I sure did. One of the fun things about losing weight is, not only is it fun to get new clothes for the outside of you, it's fun to get new clothes for underneath!
When you are the size I was, underwear was pretty much whatever fit.
Granny panties.You know, they come in a six pack, big, stretchy, white....But now....Oh boy!! I was in Target last night looking at the pajama's, when I turned around and there in front of me stood a HUGE display of ladies underwear! There were three huge tall bins with at least 12 selections on each side! Honest to Pete, it took me over a half an hour to pick out 5 pair. First of all, there were 5 different "styles" to choose from. Bikini, String Bikini, Thong, Boy Shorts, and Tanga. So, once I figured out the style, then I had to figure out the size. Then the fun part came. All the different colors, fabric and patterns! Some even had a cute little satin bow on them. (Yep, I had to get a pair of those!) It was so fun!!
 I felt like a kid in a candy store. (It doesn't take much to excite me these days.) When I went to check out, I got the "new boy" cashier. He picked up each item, searched and searched for the UPC code and then sloooowly scaned it over the scanner. When he got to my new underwear, he immediatly turned beet red. Inside, I couldn't help but laugh and laugh. But, I was good and didn't laugh out loud. Then the unthinkable happened. (To him.) One pair wouldn't scan. He tried and tried and blushed and blushed. He said "I think I'll have to call my manager." I showed him how the price was on the tag and he could probably just key it in by hand. He didn't know what department to put it under. So, then I said that since they were all the same price, maybe he could just scan one pair twice. He thought that was a good idea, but he never made eye contact with me the whole time. Bless his heart. When I got home, Landon helped me carry the bags in. As he was looking through the groceries, he asked me if I got anything "good." I reached into my Target bag and pulled out my new underwear and teasingly said to him,
"Check these out! Aren't they cute?"
Landon rolled his eyes and said "Why didn't you just get the big bag from Walmart?"
Because honey, as long as I shall live, there will never, ever
be another big bag of panties from Walmart.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Ice Scream!

Ice Scream! funny picture

A little chuckle for the day...

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Mice On Board!

One of my friends has the pleasure of living in the country. I love the country. I miss living in the country. What I don't miss though, are all the wild critters that come with country living! Today she posted on facebook that she got pulled over for inattentive driving. The reason? A mouse was in her car! (I would have gone in the ditch.) It reminded me of another mouse story from when I was a little girl. My parents, brother and I lived on a little hobby farm. Our "garage" was an old building my dad had hauled in from another farm. There wasn't a floor, so the floor was actually dirt. We kept our chopped wood, a few bales of hay, and the dog food in there. All the farm mice thought it was their penthouse! My mom had a candy apple red rambler. She loved that car. She picked out the color and had it painted with little flecks of silver. She also recovered the seats herself with a furry red, black and white fabric. Back in those days, that car was considered COOL! The ceiling was made out of that cardboard that looks like egg cartons. The problem was, she had to park the car in that old garage....with the mice. (It was that or outside.) The mice chewed little holes in the corners of the cardboard car ceiling and stored their dog food up there. You could see little foot marks where they clung to the rubber lining around the windows. The fun part for my brother and I was every time she drove around a corner, the dog food would come pouring out! We would have so much fun catching that dog food! My mom would get so mad. She hated those mice! There is one car trip I'll never forget. My mom was driving, I was sitting in the middle and my brother was on the other side of me. (This was pre-seatbelt days!) There was a hump on the floor that ran down the middle of the car. I used that hump as a foot rest. (Still not sure what that hump was for. Anyone know? The muffler?)  As my mom was driving down the road, I happened to look down and there sitting on the hump plain as day, was a mouse! I screamed on the top of my lungs and flung myself into the backseat. Screaming on the top of her lungs, my mom pulled over and we both litterally fell out of the car. My sweet brother just laughed and laughed. I don't remember if the mouse ran out or what happened after that, but I do know after that little incident, catching the dog food wasn't so fun anymore.
Mice can be such kill joys.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Big Socks

I picked up some new socks for Landon last weekend. I decided to go with the next size up because he is growing fast, and being the good mom that I am, I want to make sure my sweet babycakes legs don't get cold this winter. (Sorry Landon. Someday, you will love those terms of endearment. I promise.) I was in the kitchen washing up the breakfast dishes when Landon called to me from the other room. Here is our conversation as hollered from room to room:
Landon: Mom! Come here! These socks are waaaay too big!
Me: I'm doing dishes Landon. They aren't that much bigger than your other ones. Just put them on.
Landon: Mom! They go way up to my knees!! Come here!
Me: They aren't that big, Landon. My hands are wet. I'm doing the dishes.
Just wear them.
Landon: I can't. They are way too big! Come here and look!
I threw down the dish scrubber, grabbed a towel, dried my hands and went into the room to check out those supposedly BIG socks.
He was right. They did go all the way up to his knees!
But that is because I accidently put a pair of his dad's
(SIZE 14!) socks in his sock drawer!
He got me. That kid is just way too funny. Wonder where he gets that spectacular sense of humor from?

Monday, November 8, 2010

Silver Wings

I been trying to get a plane ticket to Florida, but, it isn't easy. I want to fly Allegiant out of Fargo directly into Sanford. Love the direct flights! Allegiant is nice because of the direct flights and it's also a little cheaper to boot. But like I said, it isn't easy. First of all, if you buy your ticket online, they charge you all these little extra fees. They add up! If you go to the airport and buy your ticket in person, they don't charge you all those little extra fees. You also have to make sure you state that you don't care where you sit or which overhead compartment your bag goes into. (Big fees for that too! A or B? Who cares?) I went last Thursday to the airport to try and buy a ticket, only to find a sign that said the ticket booth is only open two hours before each flight on the days that they fly. Thursday wasn't one of them. So, I called the number on the sign only to get a recording telling me that there would be a 15 minute wait and that there would be a $15 charge to speak to an agent. Say what? Yeah, right. I went on line and found that there was a flight on Sunday at 10:30. So, I got up extra early and was at the airport at 8:30. Guess what? Those two hours are for checking people in only. I had to wait until 10:30 to purchase a ticket. Come on already! Luckily I had a book in my car. So, I decided to get a nice big hot cup of coffee and wait out the time reading and sipping coffee in the airport. Other than the people checking in, I pretty much had the airport to myself. Everyone went "upstairs" to wait for the planes. No one was hanging out by the ticket booths. (Fargo is a tiny little airport. Nothing like O'Hare!) As I was sitting there, a young girl who looked to be about 22 or so, walked up to me. My immediate thought was "hung over party girl." Her eyes were bloodshot and her hair was a mess and she still had on last night's makeup. She had a handful of coins and asked me if she could use my cell phone to call her mom in Arizona because the pay phone wouldn't accept her change. I patted the seat next to me and told her to sit down. As she sat down and placed her bag on the floor in front of her, I discretly put my foot on the strap of the bag. (Sorry. I've been around a long time and trust no one.) Because she was sitting right next to me, I couldn't help overhearing her conversation. She said "Hi mom. I made it to the airport. I found a church and they gave me directions. Can you still pick me up when I get home? Love you mom. Bye." For a split second, I thought maybe I was a little too harsh in my judgement, but as she handed my phone back to me, she burst into tears and said "My mom is so pi**ed at me!" and started to tell me all about it. (I apparently forgot to turn off my "tell me all about it light.") She told me that she had been in Fargo visiting her sister for the week. The night before, her sister was picked up for a D.U.I. and was sitting in jail. They didn't have the money to bail her out, so their mom was wiring the bail money. She had to fly home that day because she was flying Allegiant and if she wanted to change the date it was going to cost her! (You know the drill by now.)  Her sister was her ride to the airport. She didn't have money for a cab, so she walked. She also got lost. That is where the church comes in. She found a Mormon church where the people were more than happy to give her directions, but not a ride. Say what? I know!!! Believe me, it was all I could do not to hunt down that church and give them a good "What kind of people are you???" talkin' to. But, I chose not to accept any more grey hairs and just let it be. (I'm pretty proud of myself for that!) I started to feel for her. I remember being young and stupid. Oh, how I remember! So, trying to make her feel better, I told her one of my "when I was young and stupid" stories. Sorry, I am not going to share it here. There are some things you can share with complete strangers who you will never see again, but not the ones you know and see daily. I will tell you it involved a pool and clothes. Those are all the details you will get. (Go ahead, get creative in your imagination.) Anyway, by the time I got done telling her my story she had a few, "No ways!" and "OMG's" and even laughed a few times. As she got up to leave, she thanked me over and over. Now let me tell you, there is no greater high than laughter and making someone feel happy or good.
That feeling lasted all day. I didn't even mind the wait for my ticket any more.
(Yes! I got my ticket!)
I used to be cute and young and a lot of fun. Now I'm just a lot of fun.

* Silver Wings. An oldie but goodie, sad country song. But, oh so good to dance to. Just twirl me around the floor already. I'll even let you lead.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Sunshine In A Box

Landon loves Pomegranates.
So, when he opened the box of
California Pomegranates and Persimmons
that his Great Aunt, IdaMae sent
from her own trees in her backyard,
he was quite the happy camper!
You rock, IdaMae!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Passing Of A Senator

It's no secret how I feel about politicians. So, when I received this email today, it couldn't have been more spot on! Thanks Theresa!!

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. The Senator's soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.

St. Peter says, "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules", replies St. Peter.

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven," St Peter says.

So, 24 hours pass with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and the 24 hours in heaven passes by and St Peter returns.

"Well, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now which will you choose for your eternity?" St Peter asks.

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers, "Well, I never would have thought it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be happier and better off ... in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning.
Today .. you voted."

Monday, November 1, 2010

Trick Or Treat!

Lady Gangsta's!

Tim, the scary scarecrow!!!
I posted 60 some pictures on face book!
Check them out there!
And a fun time was had by all!!!

Don't Shoot!

Landon LOVES camouflage. Because camouflage means HUNTING! Before Landon was born, Tim and I had many serious talks about how we were going to "raise" our child. (Oh, we were so naive!) Because I wasn't raised around "hunters, I've never liked it. It horrifies me. (Much like my fishing feelings.) Tim "breathes" hunting. So, I made Tim promise me that we would let our child decide if he/she wanted to hunt, when they were old enough to make that decision for themselves. If they chose to be a hunter, then they could take the appropriate hunting safety classes when they were of age, and then they could go hunting.
Oh yeah. Right.
When Landon was TWO years old, Tim told me they were going to go for a ride out in the country and look for pheasants. When I heard the van pull up into the driveway, I went outside to ask them if they saw any pheasants. This is what I saw!!!

2 dead pheasants = 2 happy campers!!
Doesn't Tim have that cheesy
" Gee, am I in the dog house?"
He was!

Then he was three, and it's never ended.
He's hooked.
I'll never forget the car ride we took when Landon was three.
 We were driving down the road when a million geese flew overhead.
I made a comment something like,
 "Look at all the geese, Landon! Aren't they pretty?"
Landon yelled  from the back seat,
 "Turn around!!! I need to go back and get my gun!!!!
I wanna shoot 'em!!!"
( He had a toy rifle.)
Kinda took the joy right out of that car ride, it did.

This year, Landon wants to sit with Tim
in the deer stand they built.
I want to puke.
I'd go with them to make sure he stays safe,
but then I'd be the crazy lady heard screaming through the woods,
"Doooon't shooooot it!!! Pleeease don't shoot that pretty deer!!!
Nooooo.....pleeeease doooooon't shoooooot...."
Then Tim would duct tape my mouth shut
and stick me in the trunk for the rest of the day.
I'll just stay home and puke.