Sunday, November 25, 2012

Ah, Bah, Humbug!

When Landon was a baby, I used to LOVE Christmas. He would get all giddy and excited when I would bring out the boxes and boxes of Christmas decorations. We would plaster them all over the house. Fill every room. It looked like Christmas threw up in our house! But, we loved it. Now that he's/I'm older, the excitement has worn off. Tim isn't much help either, so like probably most homes in the country, Christmas is up to mom. (me.) I'm not diggin' it so much these days. I don't enjoy hauling all those boxes up and down the stairs. I enjoy having the decorations out and about for about 3 days give or take, after that I am so ready to pack it all back up and have my house back. I also don't enjoy vacuuming up pine needles daily and cleaning up pine needle puke. (We have three cats that think they are suppose to eat and puke them up, daily.) Since Landon doesn't believe in Santa Claus anymore either, (I still make him hang up his stocking along with mine and Tim's. I want my Christmas candy, darn it!) even that little joy is gone. So, if it wasn't for Landon, I could easily do away with the holidays all together. I know, I know. I sound like a scrooge. But honestly, my dream plan would be to go to church on Christmas Eve, then drive to the airport and take off (With Tim and Landon) to some warm country until it was all over. But, I have a husband who won't fly and a son who still wants a real Christmas. So, on I go. Last night, Tim and I made a quick stop to Menard's to pick up a Christmas tree. (I had gotten rid of our artificial tree a few years ago. I was DONE hauling 4,567 bags of fake tree branches that poked through and ripped my arms apart to the bones, every year! Done, I tell ya.) Every year, we pick out a big ol' tree that takes up half our living room. It takes 45 hours of turning it so, "the good side shows." 67 hours to decorate it and I pick out needles from the carpet all year long. This year, I told Tim I wanted a smaller tree. I guess I was thinking, "skinnier" and he was thinking, "shorter." I had just done a purse show and was really tired, so I told Tim to just go and pick one out, while I went in search of a few other items we needed. We left it in the van last night and today, when Tim brought it in and set it up, I immediately didn't like it. I didn't hate it, but it was sooo short! So, I started looking around and thinking of what I could do to make it taller. I decided to set it on my new/old trunk table and added a few coffee/grain sacks and other items and called it good.

But then....(Sorry. The story's not over.) The nightmare began. We usually get a short needle tree, but this year Tim decided to get a long needle one. Have you ever tried to hang ornaments on a long needle tree? It's like trying to wipe snot off your hands, with your hands. It just doesn't work! So, I had to "set" a few snowflakes and little light ornaments in the tree where I could. They kept sliding off, and I had a few choice words that just seemed to escaped my mouth somehow. I swear at that point, I had no  control over it whatsoever! But, since everyone disappeared when I announced it was time to decorate the tree, I had no one to offend and nothing to worry about. (Because of the cats, I can't decorate the bottom quarter of the tree. It wasn't that I gave up, it's just I didn't want to put up with cat tennis this year.) As if that wasn't bad enough, after spending 45 hours trying to get the lights to stay on the tree, half of them decided to quit working! Of course it wasn't until after I had the ornament's hung/set up in that darn ol' tree, that decided to do that. Then I wanted to use my new camera to take "beautful night time, twinkle light" photos. Not gonna happen. I tried every setting on the darn camera and all I got was big blurs of blobs of color. UGH!!! So, I flipped on the lights and shot a couple of ol' regular shots and stuck them up here. Done. Last year, I had a few little red signs, with white letters that I sold at my holiday craft shows. They said.... "This Is As Merry As We Get." So, like those signs....this year....This Is As Merry As This Momma's Gettin'! Merry Christmas and to all a good night! (Don't worry. I'll come around after the stress of today wears off, and all will be merry and bright once again! Until I have to fight the crowds to go Christmas shopping anyway.)