Monday, October 15, 2012

Hey, Burger King! I'm Mad At You.

I've got a beef. That's right. I've got a beef with Burger King. I used to love Burger King and it was the only place that I would go for my juicy, everybiteisdelicious, flame broiled, burger. As a chick who isn't all that crazy over meat, I had it bad for BK. Until recently. Seems like the last few times I patronized my favorite burger joint, the burgers sucked! At first I thought my burger wasn't cooked all the way, so I tried to return it. They assured me they were indeed thoroughly cooked, but replaced it anyway. It still sucked. I also noticed there weren't very many customers around either time I was there. I thought maybe it was just that BK that was having trouble.Then a couple of weeks ago, Tim and I were in the Swanville area. I spotted a BK and thought because it was so far away from my regular King, it wouldn't be the same. Wrong. It sucked. It was grey in color and tasted like a soy burger (Yes. I do know what a soy burger tastes like. Had way too many of them in my younger years, when my parents decided to be vegetarian's for a while. That sucked too.) Guess what else sucked? (That's the word for the day, folks. Suck.It's not a nice word, but I can't think of a better one that fits the bill for this.) The decor! As I was sitting there eating only my fries because the burger made me gag, I started to look around. I was transported back in time. To the 80's it seemed. Here. See for yourself.

Which do you like better?
The blue, glass blocks.
The Pink and peach plastic flowers?
The green plant is plastic too.
Or maybe the blue and white floral border
and styrofoam ceiling tiles
are getting your groove on more?
Anyway, while I was waiting for Tim to finish his burger, (He still liked his. He will eat anything.) I started to think...(I know, it always gets me in trouble. But, I do it anyway.) surely I can't be the only one who thinks something is up with the burgers. So, I whipped out my cell phone and hopped on the Internet. (I love my cell phone!) and GOOGLED... (I love GOOGLE too!) "What the he** is up with BK's sucky (I'm on a roll here today folks.) burgers???" Guess what? I was not alone! Apparently the rest of the world (or a lot of it anyway) is wondering the same thing. The most popular explanation was that they are no longer flame broiling them, (As I read that, I instantly noticed that the wonderful charcoal smell that we always associate with BK was missing! Come to think of it, I don't think I smelled it at the other BK those days my burger sucked either.) because the price of gas is too high and they can't afford it. So they are pre-cooking the burgers at the factory and then at BK they keep them warmed up in a friggin' bun warmer until you order one! Those little charcoal lines on the burger? They are PAINTED on! OMG. I am so over BK. I just didn't need to know that. But, that's what happens when I start thinking....
You know what I think? (Yeah, I'm gonna tell ya.) I think they can't afford not to flame broil. If they went back to flame broiling (I know it's just deadly gas and deadly to eat, but so are Twinkies and we aren't stopping that now, are we?) they just might be able to win their customers back. And maybe, just maybe, they can upgrade that decor over in Swanville. It's a win/win folks. A win/win.