Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Read The Top Line, Please

I went to the court house a few days ago to renew my driver's license. I was actually looking forward to it a little bit, because I really don't like the picture on my current one. It's more of a mug shot than a picture. They never give you enoiugh time to smile! Really. What would a few more seconds hurt? (I'll know in a few weeks if I needed those few extra seconds or not.) Anyway, a few years ago, I started wearing glasses while driving. I don't like to wear glasses. I love being able to see, but I just don't like wearing glasses. I feel like I should be knitting or something when I am wearing glasses. O.k., got off track here a little bit. Anyway,  I started wearing glasses while driving because I was doing two or three purse parties a week, (Those were the days!) and driving all over Egypt. I was having a little trouble reading the 5,345 little white words on 2,223 little green signs. (Once again, what would it hurt to make the signs a little bigger? Tiny little effort = Big results!) We also had that little scare when Tim was driving and I screamed at him to
 "Watch out for the cow!" giving him a near heart attack and also making him a wee little bit mad. Turned out my "cow" was just a hay bale on the side of the road. (Whatever. Nobody's perfect.) Then there was the time I accidently used the men's room at Walmart. (Or maybe it was Menards? Anyway, it was an honest mistake! Plus it was more of a "senior" moment then a "glasses" moment.) After Tim informed me, (Me and the other 1,333 Walmart customers within hearing distance!) in a booming megaphone voice, the 2,142 reasons why I needed to wear my glasses, I decided I would just started keeping them in my purse, where they would always be handy. So, when the DMV lady at the court house told me to, "Read the top line, please,"  I reached into my purse, put on my glasses and read the top line. She looked at me, then looked at my paperwork, then back at me and said, "Ohhhh... you're wearing glasses now. Can you read the top line without them?" I wasn't really sure. I took off my glasses and tried again. Nope. I could not. I knew what the letters were because I had just read them, but I was honest and fessed up. She then said,
"Oooo.Kkkk... We're gonna have to put that on your license."
Great. So, now my license is going to read:
"Make sure the old lady driving is wearing her glasses."
Nobody likes a tattle-tale. Really.