Monday, January 31, 2011

My Old Folk's Home Wishes

Tim and I have been talking about our living will and our final wishes,
(How DEPRESSING is that???) and so, I've been thinking about when the time comes for us to be in a "home." (More depressing!) I have decided that when my time comes, I want to go wherever Jo, Nancy, Jackie or Theresa are. (Don't worry. I will pack up Tim and move him with me if he is still around. Hey, he's 9 years older than me! Just being realistic....) They are my "4 friends." I have 1,237 acquaintances, but only 4 real friends. I used to say I only had 3 friends, but I picked one more up along the way. I am blessed. They are the ones that will bail me out of jail with no questions asked. (A couple of them might actually be in the pen with me. lol)
So, here it is girls...

My Final Old Folk's Home Wishes:

1. I love bingo. More than likely I will be stone deaf by then, but take me to bingo anyway and help me if I can not hear the numbers being called. Do not yell the numbers in my ear. Instead just point your crooked arthritic finger to the number I need to place my oyster cracker on. Do not eat my crackers.

2. Do not let me grow any wild and crazy facial or neck hair. When you see my mustache getting long enough to braid, help me apply the case of Nair, my son Landon will have hidden in my closet for me. Do this for me and I will share my Nair with you. Don't be in denial. If I need it, chances are pretty good you will too.

3. My Grandma had Alzheimer in her last years. I probably will too. Do not let any of the men in the home take advantage of me. (Unless Tim has passed on and they are really cute!)

4. Paint my nails. I know I never wear polish now, but by then my nails will probably have oyster crackers or nair under them and I don't want to have to look at it. I don't want anyone else to have to look at it either. Once again do this for me and I'll return the favor. Hopefully we won't have the shakes too bad.
Use pink. I like pink.

5. Make sure the nurses always put my bra on. I don't want my girls getting caught in my wheel chair spokes.

6. And last but not least, promise me we will never let the fun end. Let's raid the kitchen fridge at midnight, paint the men's faces with lipstick and blush when they are sleeping, put bubble bath in the hot tub, have wheel chair races in the halls, and sip on Bailey's and coffee during church. (Hey, something's got to keep us awake! I'll have Landon hide the Bailey's with the Nair.) Feel free to give me a list of your wishes too. I will do my best to honor them. But, if I'm found sitting in the hallway with my girls stuck in the spokes and oyster crackers under my bare nails and in my mustache, then ya'll are probably sitting beside me in the same boat.
But, at least we will be together. Friends to the end!