Monday, September 10, 2012

This Is Why I Don't Bake

Today was what I call a "freak" day, where only a small number of dc kids show up. Today I only had four little ones, so I decided it was the perfect time to try out a new cookie recipe I had seen on Pinterest.The picture showed really yummy looking frosted sugar cookies and the name was Meltaways. They had me at the frosting. But, here's the thing. Other than a really good banana bar recipe that I have, if it doesn't say Betty Crocker on it, I don't bake. Here is why. Nothing ever looks like the picture or tastes even close to what it is suppose to taste like. I just don't have the touch and I am always dissapointed. So, even though I have 4,566 recipes, I rarely use any of then. Today when I pulled out the recipe, I realized I did not have the cornstarch or cream cheese needed to make the cookies. I don't keep these kind of items around, because I don't bake! (I really don't enjoy cooking either, but that's another post for another day.) So, I loaded up the kids in the stroller and we walked to the store in the 40 mile an hour wind. (I really wanted those cookies!)

Got the cornstarch!
And the cream cheese.
Then we mixed them all up, rolled them,
flattened them and baked them.
After we frosted them, we had a pretty darn good lookin' cookie!
Until we tried to eat them.
I couldn't wait until nap time was over, so while the kids
were sleeping, I grabbed a cookie. The first bite I took
was actually pretty good. I thought to myself that maybe I
now had two good recipes. Then I took the second bite and
all of a sudden it was like I had 6,777 saltine crackers in my mouth!
I couldn't chew, I couldn't swallow and after all that work,
I certainly wasn't going to spit it out! So, I grabbed a glass of milk
and washed it down. I had to drink about 6,099 gallons of milk
to finish the one cookie. When the kids woke up from their naps,
I placed two cookies in front of each child, and waited.
The first child, ate one bite.
The second child ate one bite and licked the frosting off.
The third child ate half and threw the rest on the floor.
(He's only one, so I let him get away with that one.
I would have done the same thing.)
The forth child actually ate one,
but said he really only wanted one and not two after all.
 Bless his heart for trying so hard not to hurt my feelings!
Then Landon came home. He has a sweet tooth like me and
I couldn't wait to see what he would do. Normally, with a normal
cookie, he could scarf down a half a dozen with no problem.
He grabbed the whole container and a huge glass of milk.
(I am sure he was wondering why I was letting him get away with
grabbing all of them, but wasn't about to question it.)
He ate about two bites and then took a big swig of his milk.
Another bite, another big swig.
Then he said,
 "Mom! What did you do to these cookies? I can't breathe!"
I had a good laugh and told him they were just weird cookies.
I think they are going to have to go out with the trash.
Can't throw them out to the birds.
Would hate to wake up to a bunch of suffocated
birds laying all over the lawn.
Bless their hearts.