Monday, May 9, 2011

Shopping til' I Drop. Litterally.

I spent 14 hours shopping on Saturday for new clothes. What did I get? One pair of pants and four tops. Yep. That's it. That's all I could find. Not only am I a selective eater, I am a selective clothes shopper too. The first problem I have, is I do not like my pants so low that when I sit down, my rear hangs out. When I try on a pair of pants, I always sit down in the dressing room. If there is a draft in the back, they get returned to the rack. The flip side problem of this is, I do not like them up to my armpits either. Trying to find that happy medium is darn near impossible! Then I have my girls. Even after losing 45 pounds, they are still here. What the heck? So, finding a top that will accommodate them without looking like a maternity top or having 50 yards of fabric around the waist is another near impossible mission. And tell me why, oh why, does every single clothing designer in the entire universe think that all women want to bare arms? Their arms that is. I have not mustered up the energy to lift weights and tone up, so therefore, I would like a little sleeve please. Is that too much to ask? Then there are those oh, so cute, tiny little tank tops. But, they are cut down to your belly button, so they require another cute little tank top underneath them. (Well, they do when I wear them!) So, once I get those two tops on and the one with the sleeves, I am wearing three tops and having a mini heat stroke! So, for every 100 articles of clothing I try on, I might find one that works. Oh yeah, I did find three pairs of shoes too. I love, love, love high heels. But, to me a 3 inch heel is considered high. The style these days are a good 6 inch heel! They would be perfect if I had a job down on the corner. But, I don't. I think I tried on no less than 61 pairs and I feel very lucky to have found the three pairs that I did. Honest to Pete....6 inches. Who wears those? Oh yeah, the girls on the corner....Anyway, I am seriously looking into starting my own clothing line for "real" women! All I need is someone who can draw my visions and about 200 thousand bucks. That's all.