There's something about winter that just messes with me. I can't quite put my finger on it. I can't say I feel bi-polar because I'm not depressed. I still love my life and I still feel pretty "happy" most days. (Except that week that Mother Nature messes with me! I can't wait to give her the boot someday!) During the other seasons, it's nothing new if I never leave my house for five days straight. I do go outside, but most weeks I don't leave the yard until the weekend. Doesn't bother me one bit, and in fact, I like it that way! During the winter it's the same thing, only I don't go out in the yard. Unless it's warm and sunny, (which doesn't happen very often) then I bundle up all the dc kids, and spend the next 20 minutes pulling them and their boots out of the snowbanks. When my arms feel like they are going to fall off, we head back inside. I wonder if because I don't go outside that often, or I can't just jump in my car and drive to "wherever" on bad weather weekends, if it isn't causing some sort of "anxiety." (which is a strong word for it, but I can't think of any other word to describe it right now) Sort of like being "trapped" in the house or in Wheaton, or something. I don't feel free to just go and do what I please. I have to answer to the weather. I'm not in control and I need to be in control. I can't help it. It's the way I was born. (I think I just had an Aha! moment here. I need to be in control....By George, I think I've got it!! The weather is controling me and I don't like it! Not one bit.) But, then comes Spring, when the snow starts to melt and the sun is shinning, and I can run outside in just a sweatshirt. I feel like superwoman! I can do anything! It's spring!! But, in the winter, I feel like superwoman who has had all her powers stripped away from her. I can't do anything. Well, now that I've figured out my problem, (See, writing IS great therapy!!!) what do I do about it? Does anyone else feel like this? What works for you? If you have any answers or thoughts, shoot me an email at tdsiegel@hotmail.com
I would love to hear from you. Email anytime. I'll be in the house.
