The mall walkers were a treat too. My favorite were the three moms who were pushing their babies in their strollers. The mall was a three story mall. They were on the third floor with me, and around and around that floor they went. The babies were so quiet the first round. Then the second round they started chatting, the third they started squeeling and clapping their hands. The fourth they started whining. The fifth round they were outright screaming, and by the sixth, they were sleeping. All three days. Then there was the older couple. The woman who held her husband's arm while he walked with a cane. It took them almost an hour to make it around once. Slowly, step by step. But, they did it. Together. Now that's love.
Now, I have to say something about those girl teeny boppers! What the heck??? Since I don't have a girl, I am out of the loop. When I was a teen, we used to walk with a cute little "wiggle" to attract the boys. These days, that cute little wiggle is more like BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! I kept thinking "Geez Louise! Your gonna throw out a hip, chickie!" But, of course trailing behind them were the boy teeny boppers. Tongues dragging on the ground, leaving a pool of drool behind them. Somethings never change after all.
Now, on to the big girls. (25 to 85) I would say at least 75% of those gals were wearing high heel shoes and high heeled boots. Not just an inch or two. We're talking three to four inch spikes! They were also hobbling and stopping to "rest" and had horrible pinched faces. All that to look good while shopping. (The pinched faces kinda ruined the effect) Don't get me wrong. I LOVE HIGH HEELS! But, not for shopping! Shopping is a serious sport. Shopping is a pleasure. There is no room for pain in shopping. Now that I am older, I am getting smarter all the time! I could care less how good I look shopping. Just get out of my way and no one will get hurt.
How about those men? Why do the women even bother to bring them along? They look so miserable. They are either standing there exhaling heavy sighs, or sitting in a chair sleeping. The worst ones are whining like little kids! "Are you doooone yeeeet? Can we gooooo noooow?" And on and on it goes. I say suck it up or stay home dude! Do we go fishing with you? Do you hear us whining about the worms? Not.
I was also blessed with having the spot directly above the children's play area. I swear I have whip lash from whipping my head around the 2,348,777 times whenever I heard "MMMOOOOMMMMMM!" Unbelievable. You would think after the first dozen times, I would have remembered I was child-free that weekend. You can take the mom out of the house, but you ....o.k. that doesn't even make sense.
There was also a very, very talented man there who drew pictures of children and pets with angel wings and then colored them in with just his finger and colored powder. He only charges $20 for a huge print and will even create it at home and mail it to you. All you have to do is email him a picture. Here is his site:
http://www.tomhalverson.com/. He's amazing.
The best part of the weekend was the fact that I didn't have to cook for 9 meals!!! The downside is I think I gained about 1,222 pounds... But, there's always Monday. (That's the day I start my diet. Wednesday is the day I fall off the wagon.) The hardest part of the weekend, was being in the mall for 36 hours and not being able to shop! Tim would watch my booth for me so I could take a ladies room break, but he wasn't really comfortable about it. (He did sell a bag though!) So, I only got to do flash window shopping on my way to the ladies room and back. I am really proud of myself and the only thing I splurged on was a new pair of crocs. Cotton candy pink. I love them!!! So, I did manage to come home with my profits. For those of you who are non-shoppers, I compare being in a mall for 36 hours and not being able to shop, with an alcoholic being in a liquor store with no money. It's really close.
One bizzare thing did happen that I'll share with you. If you are easily offended by "sexual topics," you might want to skip this next part. (Yeah right. You know you're gonna keep on reading...) Anyway, since we had to stay three nights, to save money, we stayed at an economy hotel. I wasn't sure what to expect but it was clean and cheap and pretty good. The only thing was, the walls were also pretty thin. So, one night we got (had) to listen to the couple staying in the room above us getting to know each other. Really well. Ugh.... That night we watched t.v. really loud. I know you thought I was going to say, "Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. (Yeah, you know you did.) It was actually kind of funny.
So, while we had quite the weekend, I can honestly say we won't be doing anymore 36 hour weekend mall shows. Compared to that, my 50 hour a week Day Care job is just a little...well.....walk in the mall!
