I just received a call from a friend of mine who is going through a terrible time with her daughter. Her daughter wants to wear make up, shave her legs, date boys....you get the picture. The problem? She's seven. Yes! Seven! I thank the Good Lord everyday that I have a son. Here is my theory on girls. (I know these things because I just happen to be a girl) There is nothing cuter than a little girl, until she turns five that is. Then there is this huge hormonal shift and they turn into little sassy-major attitude darlings. Then every five years or so there is another huge hormonal shift and it's a whole 'nother set of problems. It continues on and on and never ends until you die. Now boys, they are so lucky. They get to be rough and rowdy when they are little because that is what boys do. It's expected and accepted. Girls sit still, look pretty and have nice tea partys. It's all those nice tea partys that build up and explode that get's the hormonal ball rolling. Rebellion. Boys go through one little hormonal surge when they are teens and one more later on. (It's called a midlife crisis, but I won't go into that!) So unfair. Now I am sorry to say I didn't have a clue what to say to help my friend and her daughter, but here is what I plan on telling my son when he reaches his terrible teens.
We have three rules in this house:
1. CELL PHONE
At all times your cell phone will be charged and on you. You will answer that phone every single time I call you. EVERY TIME. Even if that amount is 2,344,338 times a day. You will also call me EVERY single time you are drunk. Do not drive. Do not get into a car with anyone else. I do not care if you are naked in the middle of a corn field. Call me. I'll find you and bring you home without hardly any bodily harm.
2. RAIN
If you are going to get wet. Wear your rubbers! ALWAYS. Even if you think it's just going to sprinkle a little. You never know when it will unexpectedly pour. Be prepared. If you fail to plan. Plan to be a daddy.
3. LOVE
I will always love you fiercely and that will never change. Deal with it and try to love me back. I won't tell anyone. You will always be cool.
Now, if you have a teen boy and this plan will not work. Do not tell me! I still have five years before my child becomes a teen. I want to enjoy living in the dark a little.
